Whether of love, duty or doing “right,” you may be among nearly 40 million US caregivers taking care of an elderly, chronically ill or a disabled loved one.
Unfortunately, many selfless caregivers don’t prioritize self-care until the emotional, mental and physical toll can no longer be ignored. Symptoms of caregiver overload may include:
- changes in appetite, weight or both;
- feeling blue, hopeless, irritable, or helpless;
- withdrawal from friends and family;
- changes in sleep patterns;
- getting sick more often;
- ideas of hurting yourself or the person you’re tending;
- loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed; and
- emotional and physical exhaustion.
If you experience any of these symptoms, it’s time to address the situation before it gets unmanageable.
First things first – get help. There’s no reward for being The Lone Ranger. Local agencies, family members, friends, and support groups may provide daytime respite care. Ask those who work in senior care about a home health nurse, personal care assistant, or an adult day program. Another caretaker may provide care for a few hours in exchange for you doing the same for them. Make a list of your daily cleaning, cooking, activity and tasks. Which can you delegate? People often want to help. By saying yes, you give another the gift of giving.
Take a break. Even a short weekend getaway can do wonders for your wellbeing. If you can’t depend on family to take over for a few days, consider respite care for your loved one. Many senior living communities, including our assisted living residence – The Medallion, offer short-term, in-patient admissions to relieve caregivers. It is possible for you to take a vacation or attend to your life, knowing your loved one is safe and well cared for.
Take care of yourself. Don’t neglect your own health. Schedule your annual and follow-up appointments, exercise, eat well, hydrate and get enough sleep. Give yourself permission to take regular breaks to take a walk, get a massage or visit friends. When home, look for opportunities to take a warm bath, meditate, read or do other things you enjoy, even if only for a few minutes. You’ll be re-charging your batteries so you can resume your caregiver role with a fresh, positive outlook.
Join a support group. In a structured, safe space, sharing your feelings honestly with others who experience the same struggles can relieve stress, open up your thinking to other points of view, and introduce the possibility of new friendships and resources.
Know your limits. There are limits to what you can do. It’s important to identify the point when your loved one will need more than you can give. Tour assisted living and skilled nursing communities now, before you experience a crisis. Seniors can often improve with the benefit trained, experienced staff, on-site medical supervision and rehabilitation, varied activities and new friends.
Build self-care into your routine, bit by bit until you find the right balance for you. If you feel guilty or selfish for doing so, as yourself: If you run yourself into the ground, who will be there to look after your loved ones with as much care as you do? Your loved one deserves you at your best. Isn’t that what you would want from someone caring for you? If you’d like to know more about The Medallion Assisted Living Residence respite services, contact our Community Relations Director, Loren Gordon at 713-778-5702.